want ad

HELP WANTED. Seeking CEO for organization with $5 million budget annually. Must oversee approximately 100 full and part time employees and facilities valued in excess of $25 million. Must supervise 8 vice presidents; be an exceptional motivational speaker; have a through knowledge of psychology; be an exceptional teacher; have great diplomatic and political abilities… and have a warm, friendly personality. Must know the difference between “fundamentalist,” “conservatives” and “moderates” and be able to appease all three without offending the other two. Must have 20 years experience and a doctor’s degree. Must be formal in demeanor and informal in demeanor depending on which group he is in at the moment. Age range 35-50. Must be good looking, suave and well dressed but look good in khakis and a golf shirt. Spouse must be attractive, have excellent personality, manage children well, be concerned and knowledgeable about applicant’s job but not nosy, gossipy or interfering. Spouse must also excel in either women’s ( or men’s- depending on sex of applicant) ministry, teaching a specific age group or music. Must have 2.5 children who are well manner and do not have a ring in their nose. Applicant must play golf and be a fan of either NC State, UNC, Duke, Wake Forest or East Carolina. Hours : 24/7. Pay: adequate but not commensurate with job. Will be supervised by a Personnel Committee of eight, a board of directors of 48 and have 1851 bosses.

so that was from a church who is currently looking for a pastor and it’s a church with which i am well acquainted. a pretty accurate want ad, but i’m a little miffed that the automatic assumption is that the next pastor will, like all others before, be a man.


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