I was informed this week that I haven’t been a positive person for the past several months. Why it took that long for this conversation to take place–and why someone is keeping score–is unknown.
I’ll admit that there’s a grain of truth to this person’s observations. The instances cited by the individual are pretty petty and immature…but there is a seed of truth. I can–and do–admit that.
If others have noticed my less than positive demeanor, they either haven’t said anything, or they understand the place out of which I currently operate and don’t bother.
For those of you who know me well, you know–and understand as much as you can–that my life is a circus. It is stressful. And I am tired…nay…exhausted. And fried. In a State Fair fried candy bar/Twinkie/Coke/butter sort of way. Consequently, I don’t have the energy to keep my filter in tact. I have a lower toleration threshold, and consequently a greater propensity for frustration.
Quite frankly, folks, it’s all I can do to get out of bed most days.
But I do. I keep showing up. I keep trying to laugh and smile and do my job–as a wife, mother, daughter, friend, student, adviser, cook and bottle washer. I try to be encouraging and see past the end of my nose.
For those of you who have recently experienced otherwise (and I hope that is a LOW number), please accept my apology. I am trying. More than that, I’m looking forward to a winter break with not a lot of work and HUGE amounts of rest and time with family.