I was informed this week that I haven’t been a positive person for the past several months. Why it took that long for this conversation to take place–and why someone is keeping score–is unknown.

I’ll admit that there’s a grain of truth to this person’s observations. The instances cited by the individual are pretty petty and immature…but there is a seed of truth. I can–and do–admit that.

If others have noticed my less than positive demeanor, they either haven’t said anything, or they understand the place out of which I currently operate and don’t bother.

For those of you who know me well, you know–and understand as much as you can–that my life is a circus. It is stressful. And I am tired…nay…exhausted. And fried. In a State Fair fried candy bar/Twinkie/Coke/butter sort of way. Consequently, I don’t have the energy to keep my filter in tact. I have a lower toleration threshold, and consequently a greater propensity for frustration.

Quite frankly, folks, it’s all I can do to get out of bed most days.

But I do. I keep showing up. I keep trying to laugh and smile and do my job–as a wife, mother, daughter, friend, student, adviser, cook and bottle washer. I try to be encouraging and see past the end of my nose.

For those of you who have recently experienced otherwise (and I hope that is a LOW number), please accept my apology. I am trying. More than that, I’m looking forward to a winter break with not a lot of work and HUGE amounts of rest and time with family.


One thought on “Fried

  1. If you were being so negative that you interfered with the positivity of those around you, I’d let you know. But I haven’t experienced that. I have seen the witty, funny, honest Mary I know. The other day Bill said that some semesters are working semesters and some semesters are thinking semesters – he was referring to research productivity. But I think he forgot that there are also survival semesters. I think this is one of those for you. Just a few more weeks of survival and you can move to a new and different semester.

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