Some days I run because it’s just what I do that day of the week. Some days I run to clear my head. Some days I run to sort out all of the things swirling in my head. This past Tuesday, after the tragic mass shooting in Orlando, I ran because of the swirling things. And I named some things for myself.
I am weary. Weary of this world and the fear and hate and violence and sad things. Weary of fighting for things to be better.
I need a break. From gunmen and rape culture and legislation that denies access to any number of people to any number of things.
I am privileged. Because I can take a break from those things. I can choose whether to engage in the things that are wrong, the things that make me tired, the things I have to keep fighting for…or against.
I feel powerless. To support my LGBT friends. To end gun violence. To change attitudes against women. To combat legislation that seems to be written by a group of people who lack regard for anyone else.
I have to keep working…advocating…fighting for a better world for my children…and teach them to do the same. Because these problems take different forms or just get traded out for something else. There will always be work to be done.
I’m afraid I’ll stop fighting.
“There’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it’s worth fighting for.”
We have to keep looking for the helpers.
I have to keep being a helper.